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28 February 2005 @ 05:37 pm
Intro post and mostly N/T mush. Mostly. XD  
I've been writing Neji/Tenten for awhile, mostly drabbles here and there. I post very infrequently as Absolut Angel on FF.N and am fairly active on naruto100 -- and, most importantly I suppose, I dig Neji/Tenten. XD I've been on a serious Neji kick lately and the result is this little short, written in just under a half-hour at four in the morning after not sleeping for twenty-eight hours. It had much better reception than I'd expected -- I mean, four in the morning, flowery prose and bad symbolism? Yeah. -- but people seemed to like it so I thought I would share.

Title: What She Cannot Afford
Rating: PG
Genre: Drama/Romance
The Editor From Hell: cynic_in_charge




I. Before

She never misses her target until Temari blows her fierce winds. They are nothing compared to the gusts that fate sends her way.


II. During

She does tarot readings every day. She finds, over and over, the card that stares her in the face is Judgement. Yours or mine, she wonders as searches for the outline of his face. She never finds it.


III. Consequently

Her heart twists into a knot when Ino knocks on her door. They're home, she says. Instead of throwing on her jacket and sprinting toward the hospital, she invites Ino in for tea. Ino is all at once incoherently babbling in her arms, and the warm tears that fall onto her wrist are a painful reminder that her own eyes are dry.


IV. Interlude 1

Chouji is getting stronger every day. I think Shikamaru might like that Sand girl. She saved his life, you know, so I guess I have to be thankful, but I don't feel like being thankful. I feel like telling her that she doesn't belong here. I hate being nice but he smiles at her sometimes and I don't want to be selfish. I never did share anything well.

Have you seen Neji?


V. Interlude 2

It is impossible to share anything with destiny.


VI. Later

She writes him letters that she'll never send. I'm sorry, she writes, and crosses it out because he would see right through the words as he would through her empty gestures. You make me weak. The words seem inadequate despite their truth and they, too, are marred with a black line.

I think about you every day, she writes, and hates herself for it.


VII. After

He corners her when he is healed and demands an explanation for her absence. She has nothing to offer him.

Her pride and strength are all she has left, and slowly, slowly, he is stealing those, too.


VIII. Dusk

When he kisses her, the ground is taken from beneath her feet.

Let me be your strength, he says, and lays his bare forehead across hers.

She doesn't have much of a choice.




I'd love some constructive criticism and all that junk, but only if you feel like it. XD
 
 
Current Mood: giddygiddy
Current Music: Jim Croce - Time in a Bottle
 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
the twee one: neji [feel the pretty]angels_requiem on February 28th, 2005 11:48 pm (UTC)
Thanks~! I really appreciate the detailed review you (and teamgaifan) left because while I love the occasional "CUTE" and "OMGNEJITEN4EV", substance really is appreciated once in awhile XDXD. And also I LOVE that fortune-telling and astrology are Tenten's hobbies, which, thank goodness, gives HER a bit of substance. (Wow, Kishimoto! She likes CHINESE FOOD? SHOCKING!) I decided that the next think I wrote with her in HAD to have something about the fortune-telling. XDXD

And here it is.

Thanks again for taking the time to review. <33333
the twee one: momo & kamio [kick YOUR ass]angels_requiem on February 28th, 2005 11:49 pm (UTC)
Next *THING.

/brain broken. Obviously. XD
(Deleted comment)
the twee one: tenten [what kunoichi are made of]angels_requiem on March 1st, 2005 01:01 am (UTC)
You almost have to wonder if Tenten took up the hobby BECAUSE Neji was forever sprouting about the constraints of destiny and blah blah blah, because she seems the type to me to think, well, fuck, if I'm chained to destiny then I at least want to know what that destiny is. *learns tarot* XDXDXD

I rarely review -- I'm terrible -- but I do try to be constructive when I do. XD

Neji, in my icon, really looks like he's about to say, "Bwahah little girl, I eat girls like you for BREAKFAST." Hence, the pimp comment. ^___^
i wear weird colours 'cos it suits mecynic_in_charge on March 1st, 2005 06:48 am (UTC)
s'more like a leer; he doesn't really have the confidence to be a pimp. or at the very least, a fairly lacivious stare since he's not exactly looking at her face. XDXDXD

bronzebeam m'dear, we're going to have to go through your penchant for overusing the conjunction one day, and eradicate your love affair with the run-on sentence.
the twee one: team 10 [<333333333]angels_requiem on March 1st, 2005 08:21 am (UTC)
And she's just like yeah Neji, go ahead, stare at my chest. 'Cause let's face it, if he wanted to see her chest he wouldn't even have to stare. Just one little activation of Byakugan and poof. If Jiraiya were REALLY smart, he'd undertake Neji as a student. ^____^

Yes. Ilana/Run-ons = OTP and I'm having a torrid affair with conjunctions but REALLY. It was 4am and I was working on mostly stream of consciousness. Shouldn't that count for something?
i wear weird colours 'cos it suits me: the book of d00mcynic_in_charge on March 1st, 2005 09:38 am (UTC)
if I did count that as something, that would be letting you off way too easy. As it is, you've already forbidden me from editing anymore. XDXDXD

Anyway, your grammatical whorehouse is nowhere near the size of mine; I'm married to the comma, having an affair with the semi-colon and in love with non-linear syntax. XDXDXD
teamgaifanteamgaifan on March 1st, 2005 05:07 am (UTC)
angels_requiem,

Awesome! I didn't know you had an account here at Live Journal! I'm glad you liked the review I left at FF.net--your story really got me thinking. I also very much like "deux ex machina" (although I never left a review for that - ::guilty expression::).

Allow me to add my welcome to Farli's! Hope that Neji/Tenten muse will keep inspiring some wonderful stories.

~teamgaifan
the twee one: shikamaru [making Gai proud]angels_requiem on March 1st, 2005 08:28 am (UTC)
I tend to put most of my snippets and drabbles and such on LJ actually, because its a great forum for people to give feedback that you can actually respond to -- and also I'm totally addicted to LJ and how do people NOT have LJs?

And so yes, I appreciated the detailed review~! (You liked DeM? That one was VERY all over the place and I'm still iffy about the result but again, people seem to like it so. Why argue? XD And I'm terrible about reviewing so don't worry.)

Thanks for the warm welcome~!

<33
κ ι τ § μ   {♬}: Days Go By // Daisukekitsu_hime on March 1st, 2005 02:06 am (UTC)
Aah!

I love it <3~

*huggles Neji & you* [/ fangirl]

This was great =) At first, I was like "Oo; subtitles?" But they really make the fic special and different. And, I really must commend you on your grammar SEEING HOW EVERYONE THINKS THEY CAN PUT 5 WORDS TOGETHER AND VIOLA-- ITS AWESOME >_>; I'm really hard to please on that count ^^ Keep up the great writing!
the twee one: neji/tenten [no words necessary]angels_requiem on March 1st, 2005 08:42 am (UTC)
For grammar, direct praise toward cynic_in_charge, who lovingly and sadistically and meticulously edits everything I write. ^_^

<333 Thanks. I'll keep writing as long as Neji keeps whispering in my ear that he's a tortured soul and the only thing that would make him happy is a little ass.

Kidding, kidding. (Kind of. XD)
κ ι τ § μ   {♬}: Heh // Satoshikitsu_hime on March 1st, 2005 03:45 pm (UTC)
*praises cynic_in_charge's grammar*

=D

Yes, write more ^_^ Neji-sama, I'll give you 360 degree vision if you keep whispering to her =33
Janeettttt ★dark_moon_angel on March 1st, 2005 05:15 am (UTC)
omg your icon!! is that real??? or you made it??
the twee one: sakura [i'll always want you near...]angels_requiem on March 1st, 2005 08:39 am (UTC)
Its a screencap from one of the flashbacks of Team Gai when they were first year genin. XD I just added some pretty graphics, is all.
κ ι τ § μ   {♬}: Nejikitsu_hime on March 4th, 2005 11:15 pm (UTC)
Do you remember exactly which episode? Or around which episode?

*hopes*
the twee one: kakashi [even though its aching]angels_requiem on March 5th, 2005 02:24 pm (UTC)
I'm actually not sure... I got the cap from here and they categorize by character and not by chapter. If I had to take a guess though, it would be one of the first Lee episodes.

Sorry. -_-
stolenkisses_stolenkisses_ on March 5th, 2005 01:58 pm (UTC)
Wow, this was lovely. I have too many things I adore about this. It flows beautifully and has a nice bittersweet tone to it that fits Neji/TenTen, I think.

The Ino scene was wonderful- I like the idea of TenTen not rushing off to see Neji, but instead rather conflicted on what to do.

But 'VIII. Dusk' stole my heart because I love that second to last line.

Let me be your strength, he says, and lays his bare forehead across hers.

I really like that image. A somewhat vulnerable Neji and a reluctant TenTen. damn i wish i could draw sometimes

Write more NejiTen soon ^^
the twee one: fuji says:  i beat mizuki <3333333 [eve]angels_requiem on March 5th, 2005 02:29 pm (UTC)
Thank you~! I actually like the Ino scene the best no, not biased at all XDXD. I grappled with that last scene actually -- it had about ten different versions before I ended with that one. But that was exactly the sentiment I was trying to get across -- they're both vulnerable, but for entirely different reasons.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback~! ^_^