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30 June 2008 @ 05:29 pm
[Fanfic] [Nejiten Childhood Contest Entry]  
So yeah, it'd be pretty weird if I didn't enter something for the Childhood contest after making that Flash commercial and all, so here's my entry. As somewhat expected, it's humor and just barely before the deadline. XP

Title: Splat
Author: toboe_lonewolf
Rating: G
Word Count: 975


The first time Neji saw Tenten, she was flat-faced into the dirt, having just jumped off the top of the swing set of the Academy.

…This would actually include the second and third time as well.

Neji looked incredulously at the strange girl who apparently liked flinging herself off high places. He had no idea of what was going on, and so he continued watching the girl's cycle of climbing/squirming to the top of the swing set, balancing on the bar, and then jumping off to go splat on the ground. Repeat.

Climb. Jump. Splat. Climb. Jump. Splat.

Neji wondered if the girl had some sort of brain damage, built up after hitting the ground so many times. He watched from behind the bushes, his original plan of counting the birds on the Academy playground now discarded in favor of figuring out what the girl was trying to accomplish.

It certainly wasn't for fun, as he could see her grimace every time she got up. Was she then some sort of – there was a word for it, but he couldn't remember – did she like falling, then? That was just silly. And stupid.

Neji kept watching though, because to be truthful, it was kind of interesting. (He was only a nine year old boy, after all, and no matter how grown-up or intelligent or responsible a little boy may seem to be, he will still have a fascination with things that go splat, boom, or vrrrm. )

As he watched, he noticed that she wasn't actually going splat. She was doing the break-fall the Academy teachers taught; the roll and slap of the arms that made landing on the ground after falling safer. And she jumped off the swing set sort of funny, making little twists or flailing arms before making the biggest dust clouds Neji had ever seen.

He still, however, didn't get it.

Neji watched the girl a few more times, before making up his mind and standing up from his hiding place from the bushes. He walked over to the swing set, looking up as the girl wobbled to balance on top of the swing set bar.


The girl jumped off.


Neji now looked down at the girl.

"—are you doing?"

The girl rolled over, grinning at him. "I'm trying to fly!"

Neji blinked.

"…'Cept I keep messing up." The girl frowned.

…That much was obvious.

"People can't fly," Neji stated flatly. The girl was delusional, and he had no idea of how she'd gotten access into the Academy grounds, but he should at least try to stop her before she really did knock herself senseless.

"Can too," the girl said defiantly.

"Can not."

"Can too."

"Can not."

"Can too, and I can prove it!" The girl sat up, folding her arms and glaring up at Neji.

Neji crossed his arms as well. "Prove it, then."

The girl stuck out her tongue, and sprung up from the ground. She climbed up the legs of the swing set hand over hand, stood up on the top bar, took a deep breath, leapt off, and like Neji expected, fell straight to the ground. Poof. Neji didn't say anything, but the corner of his mouth did rise up a little, a predecessor of the future smirk he would be famous for.

"Well, I can't do it yet." The girl glared at him again, sitting up and brushing off the dirt on her arms. "But my parents can, and I will too."

Neji frowned. "What do you mean, your parents fly?"

Now the girl looked at him as if he were the silly one. "Everybody knows that Tenchi can fly. And I'm a Tenchi, so I will too, when I grow up."

Tenchi? The word clicked in Neji's mind, and Neji recalled there'd been some talk about a new girl in their year-group that had recently transferred into the Academy; since she hadn't been in Neji's class he had dismissed it. Her name was apparently Tenten.

Neji didn't know what to make of her, as she clearly did not make any sense.

Tenten brushed her messy bangs out of the way and continued to glare at the very annoying boy standing above her. Okay, so she knew that people couldn't really fly, but wind-dancing was almost like flying. She hadn't learned that much of wind-dancing from her mother, but Tenten thought she could figure it out.

"So you're just jealous," Tenten added. Because she was going to fly, and if he was going to be such a stick in the mud, he never was.

The annoying boy (who had really long hair, which Tenten thought was kind of weird) continued to frown at her. "You don't make sense," he said, as if this concluded the argument.

Tenten gritted her teeth and pointed a finger at him. "You don't either! Just because I can't fly now doesn't mean I won't fly later when I figure it out! I'll show you, you'll see!"

The two kids glared at each other, then both turned and stomped off. Both made a personal commitment, which would last as long as such things do when someone was nine years old, to prove the other wrong.

Which, like many arguments, would eventually prove to be partially correct on both sides. People couldn't fly, technically, but no one would argue that Tenten almost could; Neji was jealous and a stick in the mud, which would never change (though the subject matter of his obstinacy would); and Tenten would continue to not make any sense – at least, on the matter of flying, as Neji tried convincing his wife that their children would not be able to fly at the age of three, little Hyuuga geniuses or no.

They'd go splat.
Icarussun_myths on June 30th, 2008 11:04 pm (UTC)
*squishes you* You have NO IDEA, you mad bad person (PHEAR MY RHYME SKILLZ), how much I love your stuff (I think I might have said something similar last time I commented but I'm going to say it again). Seriously, I wish I could come up with the ideas that you seem to sprout up with so effortlessly. They're all so FUN and so.....crack. Deliciously so.

he will still have a fascination with things that go splat, boom, or vrrrm. :D Aww! Wibble Neji-kins.....This is too damn cute - both Tenten and Neji were adorable and totally brought out my never-before exposed Maternal Instincts - and by the end I was looking around for a chubby little cheek to pinch except that the nearest one belonged to my sixteen year old little brother, who would probably have beaten me up on the spot. GAH you are crazy. *pinches you instead* *somewhere decidedly far from your cheek* XD
Toboe LoneWolf: [Avatar] Headbandtoboe_lonewolf on June 30th, 2008 11:54 pm (UTC)
I have no idea where my ideas come from either! XP This whole bit came basically from that line you quoted -- for some reason this concept of Tenten jumping off things trying to fly and going "splat." And Neji going "bwuh?...But...kinda cool..." XD I wish I could come up with the kind of ideas you write about -- you weave in mythology and Chinese stories so well it ought to be Naruto canon.

XP Maternal instincts? I have practically none, as often pointed out by my younger sister (who is also a teenager and will also punch me if I even touch her, I swear XP).

...If you've pinched me, does that give me permission to glomp you? XD
Sapphire Lunasapphireluna on June 30th, 2008 11:04 pm (UTC)
That was very cute!
Toboe LoneWolf: [Ouran] Ouran is Lovetoboe_lonewolf on June 30th, 2008 11:56 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'd hoped people wouldn't be too put-off about having kids go "splat" on the ground, even if it wasn't really "splat" ...
Maki: hammy - omgyay!yumi_maki on July 1st, 2008 01:19 am (UTC)
Oh my gosh, I love this! No offense but I'm so used to your crack that I didn't expect this to be so insightful! It's wonderful, you've really captured that nine-year old perspective in their conversation and in the narrative and your writing style is just lovely! I also love how you incorporated Tenten's family history into the story as well as the result of their argument later on.

My favourite lines are: "The girl was delusional, and he had no idea of how she'd gotten access into the Academy grounds, but he should at least try to stop her before she really did knock herself senseless."

and "Neji didn't say anything, but the corner of his mouth did rise up a little, a predecessor of the future smirk he would be famous for."

Oh, I'm so glad you got this one in just in time!
Toboe LoneWolf: [Wicked] Feeling Wickedtoboe_lonewolf on July 1st, 2008 03:12 pm (UTC)
Crack apparently is what I do. But I do some things seriously...well...kind of...XP I'm glad you liked this one! I'm a bit rusty on writing, so maybe I was lucky I was writing on a nine-year-old perspective (I think too much like a little kid anyways XP). Somehow I keep sticking in bits of my own version of Tenten's background in my fics; I've become rather attached to it.

XP And Neji was totally Responsible when he was a kid. And future bishie in the making. XP
wingsover: bara_san jungle!neji saccharinesyrupwingsover on July 1st, 2008 06:50 am (UTC)

So cute. It's like a two - er, three - lessee, one chibi-Ten + one chibi-Neji + 3 chibi Nejilings and Tenlings - it's a five-for-one special! I love the thought of little neji being distracted from his precious birds by someone trying to be one. (or a dragon). I love little Tenten's insistence.

But most of all the thought of Tenten teaching her babies to fly...oh MAN.
Toboe LoneWolf: [Avatar] Headbandtoboe_lonewolf on July 2nd, 2008 12:49 am (UTC)
Five-for-one? I am awesome at multitasking. XP

*snickers* And Neji is totally fearing that Tenten will teach her babies how to fly the same way as Neji first saw her -- flinging them off swing sets.

Imagined conversation in Neji's head:
Neji: Tenten--
Tenten: It'll be easy, see, it'll just be like the saying "throwing the baby into the river and see if he swims"
Neji: D:
wingsover: bara_san jungle!neji saccharinesyrupwingsover on July 2nd, 2008 01:24 am (UTC)
You completely are awesome, at multitasking and other things.

Imagine the Hyuugas' surprise when the gentle, let's-not-throw-them-into-at-or-through-things parent is the Hyuuga, and the enthusiastic about training one is the outsider.

Hyuuga elder: *visiting* ......is that....a kunai?

Tenten: Of course it is! Hand-forged myself from the finest steel out of the Ruhr valley...

Hyuuga elder: ...on the baby's MOBILE?

Baby: *coos and giggles and reaches for the many sharp and real weapons dangling over his head*
passivesky: minimepassivesky on July 1st, 2008 05:39 pm (UTC)
I'm pretty sure I've said this before but you, my dear, are a genius. A genius! I've got nothing else to say because you're just that awesome. Nothing! Look at my tears of JOY! TT
Toboe LoneWolf: [Wicked] Feeling Wickedtoboe_lonewolf on July 2nd, 2008 12:51 am (UTC)
...A genius at making stuff up in less than 48 hours, since I've been out on vacation for a week?...XP

I'm glad you liked the fic!
adaon6: Readingadaon6 on July 1st, 2008 08:17 pm (UTC)
No Ten Ten, not at age three, give them until at least 4! :D

Amusing as always, good job.
Toboe LoneWolf: *GEEK* (Ph34r me.)toboe_lonewolf on July 2nd, 2008 12:52 am (UTC)
*nods sagely* Kids do mature exponentially at that age...

=D Thanks! Hope I can keep going this summer!
>Kat<: Relax NejiTentanya_lilac on July 2nd, 2008 11:14 am (UTC)
It's adorable and without fault. ^^ I like the stance that you took. *squees and runs off.*
Toboe LoneWolf: [Ouran] Ouran is Lovetoboe_lonewolf on July 2nd, 2008 04:20 pm (UTC)
=D Thanks! Since I was kinda close to the deadline, I didn't want to do something incredibly serious or anything, so I went with the cute and funny. (Then again, a lot of what I do is on the lol side these days...XP)

Glad you liked the fic!
metal_tenshi on July 10th, 2008 02:54 am (UTC)
This was SO freaking beyond awesome! Like, totally! I love the very last part, and the part where Neji was still supposed to still like things that go vrrm. It was hilarious!
Toboe LoneWolf: [Ouran] Ouran is Lovetoboe_lonewolf on July 12th, 2008 05:59 pm (UTC)
^^;;; Thank you! That bit with Neji was one of the first ideas that stuck in my head. Glad you liked it!
kiuna-kleighkiuna_kleigh on July 10th, 2008 06:05 am (UTC)
Oh gawd, soooo adorable.

I can just imagine Tenten and then chibi-NejiTen's going splat. Precious. :3
Toboe LoneWolf: [Naruto] Hayate: dance!toboe_lonewolf on July 12th, 2008 06:03 pm (UTC)
=D It's like in the cartoons, only cuter, and with a little bit more sense. Tenten isn't that silly; they're only jumping off the playground slide...XDDD