Any feedback on how I can improve would be great! Like if any of the characters are OC ie. I made Neji too stalkerish, or if there are mistakes etc...Thanks!
Title: First Impressions
Genre: AU - Romance/General - I am trying to step away from just writing humour and I'm trying to put more depth in my writing...
Characters: Neji, Tenten
Status: In progress, well for as long as I'm planning to continue this...
Disclaimer: I don not own anything, I am poor, you don't want to sue me anyway
Neji was fairly cynical for one as young as he was. He didn’t believe in happy endings or love the way his cousin Hinata did. It wasn’t that he hated life and the world, he had just come to terms that life often dealt him a bad hand it and it was pointless to get his hopes up thinking that it will take a turn for the better. Better to prepare for the worst and be pleasantly surprised instead. He wasn’t a dreamer like his cousin or impulsive like his friend Lee, in fact he was probably the most boring person he knew. Neji liked structure and predictability. Love was much too volatile for him so he was completely unprepared for it when he finally fell. And he fell hard.
The first time he saw her, it felt like time had paused for the longest moment. The light from the sunset behind her gave her an unearthly glow as she sat serenely reading a novel at the bus stop in a green and brown dress. She reminded him one of those wood elves straight out of a fairytale. He stared at her from across the street, mesmerized by her bare feet swinging gently and the thick, long, luscious waves of dark brown hair that tumbled down her shoulders and framed her face. The bus stopped beside her, obscuring his view for a minute but when it pulled away from the curb, she had vanished.
The second time he saw her was a few days later when he caught the early bus home from school. Luckily he was able to grab one of the back seats as the bus was packed with students and their school bags. It was also stinking hot and he had folded his sleeves up and unbuttoned the top of his uniform as a matter of self-preservation. He didn’t usually catch the early bus as he often had basketball or athletics training after school. But he still hated catching the early bus with a passion, it was too loud and noisy and students from his school’s sister school would often try to chat him up despite his obvious disinterest. He was always listening to his ipod now, or pretending to at least, as it gave him an excuse to ignore them.
The bus stopped at the
“Move down to the back you lot!” hollered the grumpy bus driver.
She gracefully picked her way through the bag-littered aisle until she was standing in front of him. Ignoring all the sniggering
After a few stops, the bus was beginning to empty and she was able to find a seat to herself further towards the front. She slouched in the seat and was staring out the window when he walked past her when the bus reached his stop. He was disappointed that her bus stop was after his, if it had been before, he would have at least had a vague idea of where she lived. Seeing as it was the last day of the school year, it was highly unlikely he would see her again over the long summer break.
Neji never really knew why he had she had made such an impression on him in the first place. He just found her fascinating, she reminded him of a lost faerie creature who now wandered this world. But ever since that week, he had always kept a hopeful eye out for her hoping to catch a glimpse, all he wanted now was a name...
It was her first day of at the new school. Her old school had recently been combined with its brother school due to rapidly dwindling numbers of pupils enrolled and a lack of funding. She wished her parents had enrolled her in
The new school was much bigger than her old one and she was having trouble finding her classes. Building the school like a maze didn’t exactly help her situation either. She was going to be late if she didn’t find her first class soon after having taken far too long to find her locker. Tenten was juggling her books whilst trying to walk and take a map of the school out of her bag at the same time when she was unceremoniously knocked over, causing her to gasp and drop her books everywhere. Her first day could not possibly get any worse! It took most of her self control not to swear out loud at the clumsy oath whose fault it was. She and the boy who knocked her over both reached for the same book and their hands brushed each other. Jumping at the unexpected body contact, Tenten looked up at the boy who had knocked her over properly for the first time.
He was hot.
“I’m sorry,” the long dark haired boy murmured in a deep baritone.
She could feel heat rising to her cheeks and feeling suddenly embarrassed she broke away from his piercing, pale lavender gaze and quickly picked up the rest of her books on the floor. What a way to start her first day at the new school.
“I’m Neji,” he added hastily.
She gave him a small smile, not entirely sure of how to act around a male around her age. She had been at an all-girls school for far too long. “I’m Tenten and I’m late for class,” she replied before standing quickly and walking away from him. She almost turned to look back but stopped herself; it would just look like she was desperate for any male contact like most students from all-girls schools who didn’t turn lesbian before graduation, and she was certainly not one of those girls. Mentally shaking herself, she made her way through the crowd of students to her first class, Drama.
It had been an innocent enough incident but it was just one of those incidents where you really noticed a stranger. It was difficult to forget the way his eyes seemed to bore into the depths of her soul either but Tenten dismissed it quickly; she probably wouldn’t see him around the school much anyway since it was so large.
The first time he actually met her, it was the first day of the new school year. It was much more crowded with students than usual since both the
“Show us your tits!” yelled out a scruffy looking blonde boy to a skinny pink haired girl whose back stiffened in response. Neji recognised her as Sakura Haruno, one of Hinata’s friends. He thought it ironic that Naruto had asked her such a question, considering that she didn’t have any.
He found his locker and glanced at the code briefly before unlocking it and dumping the majority of his books in it. The bell rung and he spun around sharply to set off to his Economics class; Ebisu was quite strict, especially at the beginning of the year. It had something to do with laying down his authority so that the students would be easier to handle for the rest of the year. A girl gasped as he knocked her over, causing her to drop all her books.
He growled irritably under his breath before kneeling down to pick up her textbooks. His hand brushed hers as they both reached for the same book. Both jumped and looked at each other properly for the first time. It was her, the girl who had occupied his thoughts for the entire summer after he saw her on the bus. He could have sworn that time paused once more as his eyes locked onto her bottomless dark brown eyes. “I’m sorry,” he finally murmured quietly. She blushed faintly and quickly gathered up her books and stood quickly. “I’m Neji,” he said abruptly, not being able to think of anything particularly witty to say to impress her.
She gave him a small smile, “I’m Tenten and I’m late for class.”
Neji watched her walk quickly away from him into the jostling crowd of students with an unfamiliar tight feeling curling in his stomach. He didn’t really want to think about what that feeling could possibly be, but meeting her once more was fate, he decided.