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06 May 2005 @ 12:34 am
Trying my hand again.  
So, I have been trying to figure out where to post this nonsense, and I guess it fits here.

Title: Telephone.
Anime/Pairings: Naruto/Anything can be inferred, really.
Status: Short and finished.
Author's Note: Only my second fanfic ever.
Summary: One wrong word can trigger a catastrophe far enough down the line.

He had only been to Suna once, just barely skirting the borders on a mission that had gone instantly awry. There were a few things, though, that he remembered: blinding sun, grit in his teeth, bloodied sand stinging his eyes. Half of a yellow flower poking through a dune.

It was difficult to pinpoint when the miscommunication occurred and the fighting began. Sand and Leaf charged at first with a feigned, disdainful malice of the kind brought on by a change of orders, not of heart. It was disbelief that spurred their motions, turned one eye away, until a misplaced kunai blossomed into flesh and TenTen went down, withering into the sand. And oh, he was a falcon then, eyes sharp and wings fast, talons scything into tenketsu with vicious jerks. He spun their playthings away and the chakra keened around him—flat palmed blows had them laughing one moment and aspirating the next.

Once the blood had clumped patches of sand in dark slicks, he gave pause, gaping at the bodies already half-buried in sand. Chest heaved. Something was crawling along the back of his throat. The byakugan surrounded him in death, in bodies whose skin would bake if left for more than a few days and be preserved in eternal, papered agony.

Whatever hardened the corners of his eyes, drew his brows together and curved up the corners of his lips, snapped. Hair unfettered, he was helplessly retching against the backdrop of his most recent memory when she arrived, eyes widened like her fan.

There's been a mistake, she said, and he couldn't help but agree, wiping stickiness from his lips and sinking into one of his stances. She almost looked alarmed when he regained control so quickly, so eager to dispatch another unto his fists.

"It's too late," he returned, something hoarse tearing at his vocal chords.

"I've killed them all."

He couldn't help but notice that she looked desperate, wild, determined but unwilling to defend herself against such an unwound opponent. Byakugan noted the words trying to spill out of her throat, but couldn't hear, could barely see...

He had only been to Suna, once, just barely skirting the borders on a mission that had gone instantly awry.
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
rianaxrianax on May 6th, 2005 05:03 am (UTC)
Fucking wonderful.

The symmerty of the begining and end kills me.
—are you my star?: anbu despair — shootingstarsshootingstars on May 6th, 2005 05:05 am (UTC)
::blinks:: Thank you.
rianaxrianax on May 6th, 2005 05:06 am (UTC)
Do you write more?
—are you my star?: seriously. -- shootingstarsshootingstars on May 6th, 2005 05:15 am (UTC)
Well...it's what I am working for a degree in. But actually, I have only written one other fanfic ever. I don't know what happened, but I always scoffed at it or couldn't do it, and within the last two or three days, I've written something. Weird, huh?

This is the only other "story."
rianaxrianax on May 6th, 2005 05:53 am (UTC)
You need to write more. That was awesome.
REKINO: Silence [For Rekino's use only]shyunpo on May 6th, 2005 10:21 am (UTC)
That was amazing. It was a beautiful piece. The beginning and the end were just lovely. Write more if you will, your writing is wonderful. Your creativity and description interwove with one another to produce this piece. I like it a lot. =]
—are you my star?: seriously -- shootingstarsshootingstars on May 6th, 2005 12:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you...very much. I honestly did not expect it to be so well received.
REKINO: Holding On [HitsuHina love]shyunpo on May 6th, 2005 01:01 pm (UTC)
You're welcome. =] It was a lovely read and I congratulate you for writing it. ^^ I hope you post more.
Kiastarswing on May 6th, 2005 01:20 pm (UTC)
That's so...pretty...*stares* Maybe that's not the right word...beautifully descriptive...

Oh my god, you're AMAZING.

tentenchan on May 6th, 2005 03:15 pm (UTC)
I enjoyed it. Of course, I love your writing skills.