XD No fics today, guys, sorry. I'm seriously brain-dead, but I promise, they ARE getting written!
Mostly, I have two RP excerpts again...the first one is from our recent Tenten birthday RP (two months AFTER her birthday XD), in which Lee makes a comeback and goes off on Neji for "crushing Tenten's spirit by kissing her".
"Oops. Sorry about crushing your spirit. Is there any way that I can make it up to you?"
"Hmm...I don't know..." Tenten pretended to consider this, while Lee's head swiveled between his two teammates, wondering if they were actually SERIOUS.
Neji didn't bother telling Lee it was a joke. He waited to see what Tenten would say.
"Nope, sorry, no way to make it up to me." She was doing her best not to grin. "My spirit's been crushed past the point of no return. You'd have to do something REALLY big to make up for it."
Neji theatrically snapped his fingers. "Oh, no. It appears that I have cruelly taken all of the youthful energy out of our teammate for my own personal pleasure. I am so crooked a fiend." There's no way Lee can be buying this, he thought.
Tenten turned her back on the genius, crossing her arms over her chest. "Yes, you are. Now I'll never be a bride!" Then she looked at Lee...and saw, to her absolute horror, that he seemed to be CRYING.
"Lee..." Neji started, not quite sure what to say.
"Say no more, Neji!" He was shaking his head frantically. "I understand perfectly! For you to crush poor Tenten's heart and spirit is absolutely unforgivable! As a man, I cannot accept this!"
"But Lee," Neji started again. This had to be cleared up before their strange teammate did something stupid.
"I will find you someone to truly love so you cannot take advantage of another pure heart ever again!" Lee gestured to Tenten, who was staring at him in blatant disbelief. "Oh, you must have regressed far to attack your own teammate so viciously!"
Neji held back a laugh. Attack? Last he checked it was a welcome 'attack.' "No, no, Lee," an idea came to his mind, "to pay up my debt to the fairer sex, which I have wronged through Tenten, I will not date any other woman but her."
Tenten was doing her best to keep a straight face now. Lee seemed...slightly mollified. "Your word on that as a man?"
"My word as a man," Neji was trying so hard not to laugh or crack a ghost of a grin.
Lee then pointed to his teammate. "Don't you think you should ask Tenten, then, to make it official?" Ah, yes. Rock Lee, defender of females everywhere. He should be president.
"Tenten?" he asked.
One eyebrow raised. "Yes, Neji?"
"You still owe me for crushing my spirit, but I suppose I'll go for it."
"How about I pay for the crushed spirit by buying you dinner?"
She brightened and thrust out her hand for him to shake. "You've got yourself a deal, Hyuuga."
He shook her hand and smiled slightly.
Lee burst into tears. "The springtime of youth lives on!" Tenten gave him a strange look. "...Lee, are you sure you're going to be okay?"
"He'll be fine."
"Okaaay..." She eyed him doubtfully. "Then feed me."
"Let's go." Neji started to lead the way.
Tenten dutifully followed, but paused when Lee followed as well. Oh, boy.
Neji stopped and gave Lee a cold stare.
Lee shrugged innocently. "What?"
"Don't you have something you should be doing?"
"I'm hungry too."
"Go eat lunch with Sakura."
"But she already..." Tenten took control. "Lee, Neji and I intend to kiss like crazy, thus making total fools of ourselves and we would prefer it to be just us. Go encourage Gai-sensei. We'll be fine." And just like that, he saluted and left, screaming, "YOOOOOOOSH!"
"You should have gotten rid of him sooner," Neji dryly commented
"But it was a lot of fun to watch you lie through your teeth!" She cheerfully replied.
"First day in a relationship and already a sadist..."
She punched his shoulder. "I don't see YOU complaining, now do I?"
"Details." He smiled.
And this...is me and Kaie-san's awesome Friendship Song that will one day be used in a Broadway show. Although when we RPed this, I wrote in an OOC comment "If this really IS a song, I hate myself." Yes, we made it up off the top of our heads. We didn't confer or anything...which is probably why we were so damned amused by it. XD
Gai shrugged, "We'll do that later then! How does everyone feel about a friendship sing-along?" The look on Neji's face screamed, "OH GOD NO ANYTHING BUT THAT."
"Will there be dancing too?" Lee asked hopefully, as Tenten's face took on the exact same expression as Neji's. "At any rate, it's an excellent idea, Gai-sensei! Just look at Neji and Tenten and their enthusiastic smiles, ready for youth to pave the way to bonding!"
Neji thought fast and coughed dramatically. "I think I might be developing a cold, which would hamper my singing abilities. Lee, please sing for me since I am not capable of it at this present time."
"Neji..." Lee's eyes welled up and Tenten abruptly thrust out an arm to bar him from leaping onto the Hyuuga boy--surely, a suicidal act if she had ever seen him. "I would gladly sing for you, but it matters not how you sound! Bonding will be achieved, even if we all go hoarse!"
Neji wasn't quite ready to give up. "Oh, I will be singing along of course... just in spirit." Meanwhile, Gai grabbed some sheet music from his bag and started passing it out.
"The world must hear your youthful voice!" Lee wasn't about to give up either. "Sing with myself and Tenten, Neji! Let the spirit of bonding take over your soul!" Tenten smiled to herself as she accepted the music, although she was slightly nervous. She'd never sung in front of ANYONE before--and these three were close to the last people on her list that she'd ever sing along with.
Neji eyed the sappy lyrics distastefully. "The strength of our bond will carry the voice of my spirit, making it louder than I would be singing out-loud." The boy just did NOT want to sing.
Lee was silent for a moment, thinking this through. "No, I don't think so. The spirit of bonding will be reflected in your voice and, with me and Tenten, the sound will be most beautiful! Or..." He shrugged. "I suppose we can say I have finally defeated you, as you are afraid to take a stand and show us your voice..." Tenten made a show of busying herself with the lyrics, so as not to burst out laughing.
Neji felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either way, he would have a victory and a loss. He could choose for a public loss by refusing to sing, or a loss that maybe wouldn't be noticed by singing. He decided that the best loss was a private one. "Fine. I shall sing." Gai cheered, "YOOOSH! Tenten, please start us out with 'Friendship Is the Key'! You three shall alternate lines and all sing the chorus together!"
"Me...?" Tenten suddenly looked horrified, but she was determined not to let the others see her fear and, before she could lose her nerve, she launched into the first stanza. "Friendship is the Key/That opens every door/to peace and love and happiness/and youth forevermore!" Oh, Gai was going to SUFFER. Lee, of course, was cheering her on and the kunoichi was slowly turning pink.
Neji sang very quickly to end the pain sooner, "Friendship is the Key/The only one I need/When all else fails I can depend/On friendship to succeed!" This song was the stupidest thing he had ever heard.
Lee nudged Tenten, and both launched into the chorus, although the latter was actually GIGGLING. "Friendship makes the world go round/Friendship makes our team well-bound/Me for you and you for me/Friendship is the key!"
It started as a twitch that Neji couldn't control. A moment later, he was laughing, and to his horror he couldn't stop. He laughed all through the chorus, it was just TOO stupid. This certainly must be a test for how much he would believe before seeing that a trick was being played. For his sanity, he hoped that was what it was, but knowing his sensei... Poor Neji.
Lee sang with a flourish now, as Tenten joined Neji in helpless laughter. "When I sit there and want to cry/And wonder how and when I'll die/I know I won't need that reply/For Friendship is the keeeeeeey!"
Neji laughed so hard that he actually had to sit down. He couldn't remember ever laughing so hard. He knew that he should have joined in for the final chorus, but he was laughing too hard. He, THE Hyuuga Neji, was laughing too hard.
"Take it away, Tenten!" Lee indicated the girl, who complied, her voice soaring over his as she finished the last stanza. "On this journey, long and cold/I cry out desperately/But even when I'm gray and old/Friendship is the Key!" They sang the chorus once last time, before Tenten lost her composure once more and lapsed into a fit of hysterical laughter, while Lee patted her on the back.
Neji finally was able to calm his laughter down. He badly hoped that nothing that happened on this training trip would ever leave their team and get released to the rest of the village. Gai was beaming at his students. "What a beautiful harmony of youth! I am very proud!"
Lee enthusiastically hugged his teacher. "It WAS beautiful, wasn't it? And Neji even laughed, for the spirit of bonding affected him as deeply as it did the rest of us! Oh, Gai-sensei, the bond...the bond is strengthening!" Tenten managed to calm down, although her cheeks were still flushed with amusement and slight embarrassment. Neji had laughed...that had been a definite first.
Neji looked away in shame. He couldn't believe that he had actually sung, and then laughed so hard he had to sit down. It was just too much for him. He wanted to leave so badly, no, he wanted to wake up from this terrible nightmare. He sat and angsted.
Yeah, we make Neji suffer.
Y'know, at any point, you can tell me to stop. x.x I swear, I won't hurt you or decapitate you with a menorah or anything.