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25 October 2006 @ 01:26 pm
[fic] [Ten for Ten] [4-6]  
Hello again! It appears that I am your current Nejiten crack dealer for this festival, unless there happens to be a few people who have yet to come out of the underground. XP

Three more ficlets for the Ten for Ten challenge. I must confess that this is not exactly the highest grade of Nejiten crack as I have an Organic Chemistry Midterm of Doom II on Friday, but I hope that nevertheless you at least giggle at the concept.

If the last set was wacky, then this set is classic. A classic movie, a classic metaphor, and a classic party game. Who says it all has to be angsty anyways. XP Happy reading!

Theme: 4. Listen
Note: This is heavily based on a certain movie, so if you haven't seen it, then I command you to enlighten thyself. XP

"A movie?"

Tenten gave Neji a look. "That's right. And this is a special movie. It was the movie my father used to watch with me when I was sick, and Lee and I like watching it together, and today I'm gonna watch it with you."

Neji paused. He did not like watching movies that much. Scratch that, at all. And yet Tenten decided one day after training that she was going to watch a movie. With him. Because…he had no idea why.

"Is it…interesting?"

"Are you kidding?" Tenten looked incredulously at him. "Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles..."

Neji cut off Tenten's growing enthusiastic arm movements as she got more and more excited about some twenty-some year old movie. "Fine. It doesn't sound too bad." Neji sat down on the couch. "I'll try to stay awake."

Tenten narrowed her eyes before popping the tape into the VCR. "Oh, well, thank you very much, very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming."

And so, the movie The Princess Bride began to play in a little room of Tenten's apartment, with the two of them sitting on an old sinking sofa as the movie's narration began.

Buttercup was raised in a small farm in the country of Florin. Her favorite pastimes were riding her horse and tormenting the farm boy that worked there. His name was Westley. But she never called him that.

Tenten sighed, and sank deeper into the sofa. "Isn't that a wonderful beginning, Neji?"

Neji side-glanced at his teammate. She was already that into the movie? "…Yes. It's very good." Just agree with the girl…

The narration continued as Buttercup rode towards the barn, up to some blond-haired boy.

Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.

"Farm boy! Polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning."

"As you wish."

'As you wish' was all he ever said.

Neji endured a few moments more of this movie Tenten had insisted that he watch – with her – until he couldn't stand it anymore as blond-haired boy and girl stood in front of a sunset and leaned in towards each other. ("I will always come for you." "But how can you be so sure?" "Because this is true love. You think this happens every day?" Whatever fate Neji believed in, true love was not one of them. And his male pride was at stake.)

"Is this a kissing movie?" Neji said, out of the blue.

Tenten paused the movie. "What?"

Neji shifted on the sofa. "It doesn't look like…anything you described before we began the movie. Except for the 'true love' part."

Tenten smiled, and waved a hand. "Wait, just wait." Pointing with the remote control she started the movie again.

Neji felt a little bit of justification as Buttercup said, "I will never love again." (See? True love is not fated to happen.)

And stuff happened, and the woman was getting married to some loveless marriage for only state purpose and superficial movie (and Tenten liked this move?) and she went out riding and…oh, now things got interesting.

And then came the shrieking eels.

"Veer left! ...Left! ...Left!"

Buttercup stopped as she heard something.

Vizzini looked out over the railing. "Do you know what that sound is, highness? Those are the shrieking eels!"

Her eyes widened as she treaded water. No…

"If you don't believe me, just wait. They always grow louder when they're about to feed on human flesh!"

A long sinewy body swam past Buttercup, and she gasped as she saw shining scales and beady eyes and long, sharp, far too many Teeth. She looked around, frantically, as the high pitched keen grew louder.

"If you swim back now I promise no harm will come to you..." Vizzini sneered, teeth emerging just like the eels. "I doubt you'll get such an offer from the eels."

And the eel turned around, and Buttercup turned to see a gaping mouth of teeth coming straight towards her—

"She doesn't get eaten by the eels at this time."

Neji blinked as he stared at the paused screen of a gaping, cavernous mouth. "What?"

"The eel doesn't get her," Tenten said, seriously. "I was explaining because you looked nervous."

Neji looked down at himself. Leaning forward towards the TV, hands on knees, clutched at his short's ends.

"I was not nervous," he said, dignified, as he sat back against the sofa. "Perhaps I was…a bit concerned, but that is not the same thing."

"I mean, we could watch the rest later if you want—"

"No, we can finish it." Pause. "If you want." Look! The Hyuuga genius hath graciously bestowed permission.

Tenten smiled. "Fine, fine." She pointed her remote at the TV screen once more.

And so the absolute classic chick-flick movie resumed. Neji and Tenten watched as the three perpetrators sailed on, and the man in black appeared. The cliffs of insanity, the sword duel between Inigo and the man in black, the triumph of the man in black over strength and (supposed) smarts, the Reunion (Tenten sighed), the escape into the Fire Swamp…

Against all intention, Neji was definitely "getting into" the movie. In some strange way he had formed a connection to the characters, who were clearly in True Love, and fought off bigoted princes, exploding fire pits, sinking quicksand, Rodents of Unusual Size, and then they got captured.

Neji raged against fate.

And so Westley and Buttercup were separated, and the Spaniard and Turk were reunited, and then it was revealed how the Prince was much more of a bigot than previously seen, and Neji raged even more as the Prince killed Westley, Buttercup's true love.

Inigo and Fezzik were searching for the man in black – the man who had bested Inigo in steel, Fezzik in strength and Vizzini in thought – searching for the man who could find a way to get into the palace and Inigo could finally avenge his father. Screams reverberated through the air. Inigo grabbed Fezzik in the middle of street.

"Fezzik! Fezzik! Listen. Do you hear? That is the sound of Ultimate Suffering. My heart made that sound when Rugen slaughtered my father. The man in black makes it now."

Fezzik looked down at his friend. "The man in black?"

"His true love is marrying another tonight. So who else is the cause for Ultimate Suffering?"

Ultimate suffering. Of course. Neji inwardly nodded, wise.

Neji liked the swordsman, wanted him to achieve his revenge almost as much as he watched Westley and Buttercup to get together. He watched as the two brought Westley to Miracle Max, restored him to life (more or less) and began their assault at the fortified castle against thirty men.

(Neji wondered how Shikamaru would have fared under the same circumstances. Would he have come up with dressing up Chouji in a holocaust cloak, have him pretend to be the Dread Pirate Roberts, light Chouji's cloak on fire, frighten the gatekeeper into giving them the keys – all while being basically completely physically disabled?)

Of course, Neji noticed that Tenten cheered as Inigo returned on scene, dispatching four soldiers with ease, chasing after the six fingered man who had slaughtered Inigo's father. She could, amazingly enough, recite every single line – Neji could see out of the corner of her eye, mouthing along as Inigo declared himself to Count Rugen, again, and louder.


Go sword fights.

And the Prince got put-down and tied-up, Westley and Buttercup were reunited once more, and they rode off into the sunset on top of white horses. The two reached for one another, as the movie's narration concluded.

Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The end.

Somehow over the course of the movie, Neji and Tenten had ended up leaning against each other, Tenten's head resting against Neji's shoulder and Neji having adjusted his own position to give her the most comfort. Between two other people, it would have been called "snuggling." Except Hyuuga Neji did not "snuggle."

Even then, Neji did not want to disturb Tenten's position.

Tenten watched idly as the credits scrolled by. She sighed, happy. "That's it. The end."


Then Tenten noticed just where she was. She jerked herself upright, blushing slightly (Neji almost fell over as Tenten's supporting weight was suddenly gone. But Hyuuga Neji does not 'fall over'). "So, ah, yes. That's The Princess Bride. Everyone should watch it at least once. So, ah, now you have." She reached over and popped the tape out of the VCR. "Guess I've taken enough of your time…"


She stopped her babbling and looked at Neji. His face was turned slightly away from her, and she couldn't see too well because the room was dark, but she thought she saw blushing. On Neji.

"Maybe…we could watch it again sometime."

Pause. And Tenten smiled.

"As you wish."

Theme: 5. Gravity

"Gravity is constant. You can't defy gravity forever."

Tenten glared at the white-eyed boy standing above her, who had just completely bested her in a spar, as Tenten failed once more in perfecting her technique. "I can, and I will."

The Hyuuga genius turned away. "Even shinobi cannot fly."

She stared upward, into blue sky and clouds. A bird flew overhead.

"Just wait, Neji. I'll show you. I'm going to fly. And one day, I'll take you with me."

Theme: 6. We Might As Well Be Strangers

Neji looked in horror (although his Hyuuga face did not show it) as his sole sane supporter on Team Gai turned traitor.

Tenten tapped the side of her jaw. "Hmmm. You've got a point there, Lee."

Lee grinned. "Yosh! Then we shall play the game of 'Truth or Dare!' "

Once a week, Team Gai would set aside time to do something other than training together, known as "Group Bonding Time." It was a rule (and name) created by Gai on the first day they'd met, and every week they'd kept it (more or less faithfully). Some days Gai would be a part of it, sometimes not; as this was primarily a chance for the three teammates to work together on something other than training.

Apparently, for this week's "Group Bonding Time" Gai had decided that his team should play the game known as "Truth or Dare." He had heard that it was a "classic party game" known for "revealing secrets" and "a sure-fire way to get everyone together."

Right. Gai had probably gotten the idea from Lee, who had gotten the idea from Naruto, whom Neji currently hated at the moment. And of course, today Gai was not going to be "playing" because Gai did not want to disturb their "youthful playing."

At first, Tenten had been just as against the game as Neji had been. And then Lee had fallen crestfallen at his two teammates' denial and said, "But then…we might as well be strangers, then, for only strangers would refuse to participate in this classic group game of daring Dares and unknown Truths about each other. It is a game where we may truly get to know each other, as questions are asked and character revealed and secrets are unveiled before trusted friends…"

And then Tenten, to Neji's dismay, had turned around and agreed to, to, this silly game. A game.

Neji would much rather have preferred a "Group Bonding Training Exercise" or "Group Bonding Challenge" or even a "Group Bonding Trip" than a "Group Bonding Game."

Tenten poked Neji. "Oh come on, Neji. Think of it as a test."

"Of what?" He replied with a scowl.

She grinned as she sat down on the ground. "Of how much guts you have."

Was Tenten impling that he, Hyuuga Neji, was afraid? Neji narrowed his eyes as he too, sat gingerly down, completing the tiny circle between the three of them.

"So," Tenten looked at her two teammates. "Who goes first?"

Lee waved his arms. "I shall! Neji, my most esteemed friend and rival— Truth or Dare?"


"A-HA! Then I shall dare you to run one hundred laps around Konoha! On your hands!"

"Lee," Tenten chided. "You really should pick a dare that can completed in like, ten minutes or less. Otherwise it'll be the end of the day before we get past one round."

"Ah…" Lee nodded. "I suppose that since Neji has not trained for such that this would be an unwise choice…" (Neji bristled at the implication.) "Then…Neji. I dare you to sing 'I'm a Little Teapot!' With all of the hand motions!"

Tenten bawled out in laughter, grabbing her stomach as she curled up laughing. "Oh boy Lee, that is a good one!"

Hyuuga Neji hated them all. ALL.

With gritted teeth Neji stood up and stuck out his hands. "I'm a little tea-pot, short and stout…"

The rest of the song was drowned out by Tenten's laughter. Neji blessed the little sanity Gai had that there was a rule of absolutely no recording and no blackmail. Otherwise, two people would have been Hakke 64'ed right then and there.

Neji scowled again as he sat back down. Tenten was still laughing, her breath coming out in heaves as her mind continuously replayed The Hyuuga Neji singing "I'm a Little Teapot."


Tenten wiped her eyes. "Yeah?"

"It's my turn."


As the game continued, Tenten had to let down her hair, Lee had to change into a business suit, Neji told them that he liked cooking herring noodles, Tenten had been forced to cook herring noodles for them to eat (it'd been…interesting), Lee wanted a bird, Neji wanted a cat, Tenten wanted a dog, Lee sang "Itsy Bitsy Spider" while climbing a tree, and so on and so forth.

The three of them relaxed as the game progressed. No, the game wasn't so bad after all, Neji concluded. Amongst friends like these, it was fun, and interesting.

"Neji! Truth or Dare?"


Lee leaned in. "Then Neji…do you have romantic feelings for Tenten?"

"Lee!" Tenten blushed furiously. "Don't ask questions like that!"

"Why not?" A slow smile formed on Lee's face. "It is, you know, Neji's decision to answer…"

"Oh wow, look at the time!" Tenten pointed wildly up at the sky, the sun beginning to set. She grabbed Lee, dragging him out of the forest clearing. "Lee, I'll bet you still have training to do like kick the dummy post three hundred times or run around Konoha or—"

Tenten stopped as she felt Neji grab her hand. She swallowed as she stared into his eyes, Lee observing with a very satisfied smile. Neji took a tentative step closer to Tenten, eyes looking everywhere but her.

Lee spoke quietly from behind. "Truth or dare, Neji."

Truth or dare.

And finally Neji turned his head and looked at her.


Neji chose truth.

To themes 1-3
wingsover: bara_san jungle!neji saccharinesyrupwingsover on October 25th, 2006 07:59 pm (UTC)
*grins hard*

I haven't watched the Princess Bride, so that kinda went over my head. But the third one...oh the third one. OHOHOHOHOHO.

"I'm a little teapot, short and stout..." ^___________________^

And what a cute ending!
Toboe LoneWolftoboe_lonewolf on October 28th, 2006 05:33 am (UTC)
Everyone must see the Princess Bride. At least once. XD

Just wait till Neji has kids and Tenten tells asks him to do the rhyme for the kids, because "he did it so well." XDDDDD
wingsoverwingsover on October 28th, 2006 05:42 am (UTC)


Tenten: *tiredly* Neji....sweetheart...honey...darling love....could you. Please. Just. DO. IT.

Neji: *equally tired* Maybe he just wants his milk?

Tenten: No, he doesn't. You KNOW what he wants.

Neji: *wavers until the sound of his son's cries finally convince him* Fine.

*gets up and goes over to the crib*

I'm a little teapot...short and stout...

Baby Hyuuga: *coos in delight*
Toboe LoneWolftoboe_lonewolf on October 28th, 2006 05:47 am (UTC)

Progeny? XD
wingsoverwingsover on October 28th, 2006 05:48 am (UTC)
Heh, why not.

Oooh, and then when Shunrei is over, Neji would have to perform for two babies.
Toboe LoneWolftoboe_lonewolf on October 28th, 2006 05:55 am (UTC)
And then he'll have to run through several nursery rhymes, because just because one baby liked this rhyme doesn't mean the other one did too. So Neji is forced to do "Jack and Jill" and "Mary Had a Little Lamb" and "This Little Piggy."

While the moms watch.
wingsover: puppywingsover on October 28th, 2006 05:56 am (UTC)
AND Naruto. Don't forget Naruto. (he would use his Hokage powers to steal a video camera and use it for himself too)
sireensilver: respectsireensilver on October 25th, 2006 09:39 pm (UTC)
Lee is evil.

Aaaaaand, feel proud. I burst out laughing reading this. Twice. Good job!
Toboe LoneWolftoboe_lonewolf on October 28th, 2006 05:34 am (UTC)
*is proud* Laughing is what I strive for.

And yes. Lee can be very evil. Very. =D
xhriisxhriis on October 25th, 2006 09:50 pm (UTC)
omg! i love that movie!! that was wonderful, totally made my day. =)
Toboe LoneWolftoboe_lonewolf on October 28th, 2006 05:34 am (UTC)
Thank you! Princess Bride rocks.
silverteardropxsilverteardropx on October 25th, 2006 09:58 pm (UTC)
::JAW DROP::: ::the jaw dropped so hard that it created the biggest earthquake in the whole wide glaxy:::
................::the reader is no longer gifted with words but if she was then she would say she "I LOBE THIS MUHAHAHAHHAH NEJI I LIKE THIS AUTHOR!!!! MUHAHAHHA TORTURING NEJI IS HILLARIOUS!!!! MUHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!:: =]
silverteardropxsilverteardropx on October 25th, 2006 10:05 pm (UTC)
oh yeah thanks for the fantastic birthday gift.....yeah its my b-day!!!
Toboe LoneWolftoboe_lonewolf on October 28th, 2006 05:35 am (UTC)
Oh good, your jaw is reattached. XDDDDD

Happy Birthday!...Three days late. ^^;;; Sorry, basically holed myself up in studying for my Orgo exam.
blue_black_cat on October 25th, 2006 11:06 pm (UTC)
These were awesome; the Princess Bride one was the best *pokes icon*!
Toboe LoneWolftoboe_lonewolf on October 28th, 2006 05:36 am (UTC)
There are Princess Bride icons? Inconceivable!

=D Thank you!
tianfei on October 26th, 2006 12:22 am (UTC)
Neji likes cats? I thought he liked birds... XP
Toboe LoneWolftoboe_lonewolf on October 28th, 2006 05:36 am (UTC)
Neji likes birds, yes, but pet, caged birds? Not so much. ^_~
Cat: NejiTen [ razorblade kiss ]light_flower on October 26th, 2006 12:48 am (UTC)

Omg.. you just killed me dead. again. XDD "I'm a little teapot .." Lee is evil. evil. asdgdadh hahaha XD And the ending was so cute. *__* you win so much. *adds to memories* ♥
Toboe LoneWolf: [Ouran] Ouran is Lovetoboe_lonewolf on October 28th, 2006 05:38 am (UTC)

Yes, Lee can be a devious little green one, can't he?

Thank you! (Like wow, memories...=D)
snowyowl131 on October 26th, 2006 02:06 am (UTC)
Princess Bride. I Love You. SO Much. tPB rocks. *___*
Toboe LoneWolftoboe_lonewolf on October 28th, 2006 05:38 am (UTC)
It rocks indeed. And must be given much love. In all fandoms. =D
tam_atm: that's righttam_atm on October 26th, 2006 02:07 am (UTC)
The ending of the last one was pure wufflage X3
Toboe LoneWolftoboe_lonewolf on October 28th, 2006 05:39 am (UTC)
*grins* Hee, "wufflage."

Squee! I'm glad you liked the ending! (I thought I might have been bordering on cheesy, but I'm glad so many people thought it was cute instead. XP)
riri: smiles~!crimson_riot on October 26th, 2006 03:40 am (UTC)
Listen: Ohmigawd everyone says those lines! Inigo is holy! Princess Neji and Tenten... is this implied? :B

We Might As Well Be Strangers: cutecutecute!ending! Wowwowwow! :DDD I feel so squishy-romantic inside. But as cute as the NejiTen result of the game is... Lee wins! (lawl teapot >w< )
Toboe LoneWolftoboe_lonewolf on October 28th, 2006 05:41 am (UTC)
"...Is this implied?"

OHOHOHOHO. It is fated, for it is true love. XDDDD

We mustn't forget the third member of Team Gai, oh no...for sometimes, it's the third member that gets one and two hooked. XDDD
Hyuuga Tentenhyuugatenten on October 26th, 2006 06:22 pm (UTC)
Let's play read between the lines!:

I liked your 'Listen' fic immensely!
I MUST go rent The Princess Bride...
You're such a great writer!!!
You make my fics look bad by compariso~~~n
The funniest was We Might As Well Be Strangers
I enjoy imagining Neji singing I'm A Little Teapot. A lot.
I wished your gravity could be developed into a more sustaining story.
You have given me a plot bunny. It must be executed.
Toboe LoneWolftoboe_lonewolf on October 28th, 2006 05:45 am (UTC)
Princess Bride is a classic that everyone must see at least once. =D

*shakes head furiously* No way, your writing is so much better. Mine is just cute!crack. Yours is way much more.

Hee, I enjoy imagining Neji singing "I'm a Little Teapot" too. With Lee grinning like mad. And Tenten rolling on the ground bawling in laughter. Good times, Team Gai.

Actually, Gravity is kind of part of this theme I have with Neji and Tenten; and I referenced it (well to me) in a previous fic. I don't know if I'll write a fanfic on just that plot/concept/theme though, since I kinda like using it as a running reference thing.

Oho, plot bunny. Spawn! Spawn, plot bunnies! XDDDD
Miri: In My Dreamskatya_jule on November 19th, 2006 03:51 am (UTC)
Prettyprettypretty. ♥ I love the last one sooo much. Great job!